Born Free Method: The Podcast
Born Free Method: The Podcast
What He Never Learned: Repair, Responsibility, and Men's Silent Longing for Connection
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What He Never Learned: Repair, Responsibility, and Men's Silent Longing for Connection

A powerful interview with Ted Riter, my friend and personal intimacy coach

Before you swipe left (or whatever), I want you to think about your relationship with your partner or friends or kids. You could choose to think about any relationship, for that matter. How is it going with that person? Are you able to fully express yourself without fear of judgment? From where did those fears or insecurities arise?

Meet Ted Riter, a rabbi, father of two, and my personal intimacy coach/therapist/friend. I didn’t know how much I would benefit from “men’s work” until I met Ted.

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Ted’s lineage in men’s work flows from David Deida and John Wineland, both of whom also have excellent books. But there’s a big difference between reading self-help books and working with an experienced coach.

I’m married to my high school sweetheart, so I’m really good at loving this woman, yet there are still deep issues that I carry with me, and those have emerged after having brought two little girls into the world. As it goes for most couples after children, my relationship with Stephanie changed dramatically. And now, I’ve got two little feminine beauties fluttering about seeking leadership and love from a masculine figure like myself. The target is on the move and the stakes are higher than ever for men like me.

Becoming more connected and feeling safe enough to be vulnerable around other men without fear of judgment is easier said than done. As Ted points out early in this conversation, men are bereft of role models and men are lonely. Many men crave this connection but have no idea where to start. I feel you…I’ve been there, too, and I hope that this conversation can be received as an invitation to seek greater richness in relationship with yourself, your intimate partners, and with other men in your life.

In this conversation, Ted and I engaged in a wide-ranging discussion covering personal experiences, relationships, and men's work. We explored the challenges men face in vulnerability, emotional expression, and relationship repair, emphasizing the importance of personal growth and balanced energetics (yin vs yang; feminine vs masculine; flow vs stillness). The conversation also touched on the evolution of masculine roles, the concept of "nice guys," and bringing embodiment exercises into this work. Throughout this conversation, Ted uses examples from our coaching sessions to illustrate a variety of sticking points that I’m sure will be relatable!

Books referenced in our conversation:

Ted has a FREE 5-day Relationship Reset on Facebook starting on May 18th (and it’s free!)

Ted is also nearly finished with his first book, 49 Days to Deeper Connections, and he works with men and women, alone and in pairs, sometimes facilitated by MDMA. Find him at his website for more information on his offerings (I can’t recommend it enough!)

Episode is available for listening on all podcast platforms AND you can catch a glimpse of Ted’s cute smile if you watch on Youtube.

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Notes for this episode are found on Substack

Work with Nathan:
Support for Midwives | Private Consultation | Born Free Method | Clear & Free | Twins-Breech

Medical Disclaimer: Born Free Method: The Podcast is an educational program. No information conveyed through this podcast should be construed as medical advice. These conversations are available to the public for educational and entertainment purposes only.

Music provided by RealMovieScores / Pond5

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